Reid My Mind
by A True Criminal Mind
Summary: A brief one-shot about Reid with his drug issues...Please R&R...


_OK, so, had a bit of free time on my hands, and this idea popped into my head, just a one-shot...Unless you really really like it :) :) :)_

_This takes place a few weeks after The Big Game and Revelations...._

_Your friendly neighborhood genius girl,_

_A True Criminal Mind_

**Title: **Reid My Mind

**POV: **From Reid's eyes

I was scared. So scared that I didn't even want to go into work that day, and that's pretty strange for me. As I stumbled into the bathroom I sighed loudly, my whole body aching in protest of me getting up...

But I deserved it...

The light burned my dry eyes as I turned it on, only to see my face in the mirror. It really wasn't my face though, it was merely a hollow shell that held my valuable brain, that was rotting inside of me. My eyes were surrounded in dark brown, darker than usual anyway. My hair stuck out in a fashion I didn't even know was possible and my face was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I was as white as a sheet and looked like I was going to puke. Yep, I looked like any stupid 25 year old druggy without a job...Only I was a stupid 25 year old druggy who work for the FBI and would be drug screened in two weeks...

I washed off my face and put on a white button-up polo, over that I slipped on a gray, white, blue and green argyle sweater-vest. My normal dress pants followed by loafers and my tweed brown jacket, I still looked terrible though...

As I drove to the office my head started to spin and throb in my ears. My stomach turned and I though I might have to pull over...But before I new it, I was at the familiar FBI building in my normal parking spot. I let my head fall onto the cool steering wheel...It felt so nice...and cold....and...and...

The next thing I knew was that Morgan was banging on the car window, My head was pressing down on the horn and I had just passed out. Slowly lifted my head off of the steering wheel and got out of the car, completely ignoring Morgan as he chatted up behind me in to the elevator. I felt his heavy hand cover my sore boney shoulder.

"Hey man, what's up with you lately? You seem, well, wrecked," I could see the concern in Morgan's eyes but I didn't feel like being interrogated at the moment, so I responded the only way I knew how, to snap.

"Yeah, well I am wrecked and if you haven't bothered to notice yet, I've _been_ wrecked!" I shouted.

I suddenly felt my face get hot as the elevator doors opened to see a snickering Gideon and scowling Hotch.

I shuttered.

"Reid, my office, now." Hotch's cruel voice ripped through the noise of my heart in my ears.

I shyly sat down in one of Hotch's giant leather comfy chairs. It was so soft...And warm...and...and...and...

"Reid?!" I felt myself being shaken awake. Hotch had one hand on my shoulder and was rattling me too hard for my liking.

"Hey, lay off!" Did I just say that? Yes, yes I did. I think I'm one of the only people who has yelled at Hotch and not died...yet...

I really though he was going to backhand me, right there, but he didn't. Hotch sighed and sat behind his desk. I shifted uncomfortably, not looking forward to this conversation at all.

"Reid, what is going on with you? You never answer your phone, your biting peoples' heads off," Hotch and I mad eye contact, "you look terrible."

I couldn't take it. Pressure was building up inside of my, so bad that I actually started to squirm in my seat.

"I-I....N-Need, to use th-th..." I was shaking so hard I couldn't control my voice.

Hotch didn't need to speak, his face said it all. As if he was a father scolding his teenage son for doing something wrong, his face spoke. _Don't you dare..._

So I ran. I may be a genius, but just because of that doesn't mean I'm smart all the time. So I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, and Hotch chased me. As soon as I was in I slammed and locked the door.

"Reid, don't do this!" Hotch shouted, pounding on the door.

I couldn't even hear him, there was a loud humming noise in my ears.

"Reid, if you do this I have no other choice but to fire you!" _Empty threats, useless words, he doesn't want to help you, so do it._ So many different voices screamed in my head.

"Y...You...Do-do, h-have a ch-cho-ice..." I stammered out as I watched the clear liquid go from the bottle into the syringe.

"Reid?!" _He's still just yelling at you! EMPTY WORDS! THEY DON'T CARE! DO IT!_

I began to shake and panic as I rolled up my sleeve.

The door was kicked in, and before I could do anything, Hotch had turned to see me, leaning on the sink, a smashed bottle on the floor and a full syringe about to piece my skin. Tears clouded my eyes so badly that I could barely see.

No, his voice and face were different, soft, caring.

"Reid, listen to me, I'm sorry, OK? You don't have to do that, please, just come out and I'll help you," _EMPTY WORDS AND LIES AGAIN! DO IT SPENCER! END YOUR HORRID LIFE!_

"NO!" I screamed. I threw the over-full syringe against the wall where it almost hit Hotch and shattered.

Falling. I fell to my knees, unable to regain control over my body. I shook and cried so hard I couldn't breath. Hyperventilation isn't fun...at all...

As I held my aching head in my shivering palms, I felt a warm strong hand on my back, making slow soothing circle motions as if trying to calm me down.

It worked.

I cried for what felt like hours, screeching and shaking and pounding my fists on the floor. And then I stopped, unable to even keep my head up. Hotch carried me back to the little sofa in Gideon's office where I spent the rest of the day with him, crying and dozing off...

I sighed again after I recalled that day, I was only yesterday. Now I sit n an uncomfortable plastic chair in front of a ton of other people who I don't know...

I rise from my seat...

"Hi, my name is, um, Spencer Reid,"

"Hello Spencer," they repeated in unison.


End file.
